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FREED model Michelle Leslie dissolved in tears yesterday as she told of her terror that she would be left to rot in a filthy Bali jail.
And she revealed her anguish at accusations that she had pretended to be a Muslim just to win her freedom.
Her father joined Leslie at an emotional press conference at which the pair also lashed out at Prime Minister John Howard.
But Leslie, 24, still refused to reveal the inside story of her ordeal for fear of what might happen to other Australians still behind bars in Indonesia.
"From the day of my arrest until the day I was released, I really believed I would spend the next 15 years of my life rotting in an Indonesian prison," a distraught Leslie said before apologising for breaking down in tears.
"I can’t begin to describe how frightened I was and how confusing it was to find myself in that situation. I don’t think anyone could blame me or my family or friends for doing everything they could to get me out. I think anybody else in that situation would’ve done the same."
She said her parents had spent their life savings and mortgaged their house in Adelaide to get her out of prison.
"As you can imagine, I feel terrible about this and I want to be able to work and repay them the money that I owe them," she said.
She said she had spent the first two of her three months’ imprisonment in a Denpasar police cell which was infested with cockroaches and had no ventilation and no sunlight.
"I had to share that cell with up to 13 women at a time," she said.
She said the only relief she had from the heat was a daily shower with a bucket of cold water in an open sewer.
But Leslie said allegations that she had pretended to be a Muslim were hurtful, and she had never intended to offend Muslims by wearing the traditional burqa while facing trial.
"I am a Muslim and I do understand the significance of wearing the burqa," she said.
"I should have thought more carefully about wearing it in that situation, and I apologise for any offence I have caused. It was an extreme situation."
Leslie said she chose to wear the burqa because it was a "sign of public privacy and modesty", two things she sought during her trial.
She said she knew a lot of other underwear models who were practising Muslims. "I don’t know how what you wear . . . can make you a bad person," she said.
"I can look at my parents in the eyes, and they’re OK with what I do; I can look at myself in the mirror and be OK with what I do, and that’s all that matters to me."
Leslie returned to Australia this week after spending three months in a Bali jail. She was arrested for drug possession, which carried a 15-year jail term, after two ecstasy pills were found in her bag.
She was sentenced on a lesser charge of receiving drugs as a user.
But Leslie said yesterday: "I don’t think I should have to accept it ( the conviction ).
"I’d always expected that if I got free I’d be able to tell the Australian public what really happened. But now that I’m back here I still don’t believe it’s safe for me to do so, because there’s still a number of other young Australians in Indonesian jails.
"And I simply won’t take the risk of making it worse for them than it already is. I will wait ( to tell my story ) because I do not want to be responsible for anybody being in there for one minute longer than they have to."
She said she had never intended to sell her story, and hit out at Mr Howard.
"What has really shocked me, though, is the amount of anger that has been levelled at me, especially from the Prime Minister," Leslie said.
"I know there has been a lot of speculation about whether I was going to tell my story. Let me tell you now, all I ever wanted to do was clear my name, and also that my story is not for sale."
Leslie pleaded for privacy and understanding.
"This has been extremely life-changing and a terrible experience, and I hope that I will be granted the privacy and understanding to be able to recover and get my life back," she said.
"I am, however, extremely fortunate.
"I’m surrounded by friends and family who love and respect me, and I’m home."
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