Installment #4  of Terror Teens

Exclusive to the Waterloo Democrat
Arnold Lipshitz, Reporter

November 13, 2002


This Iowa town has rarely seen a musical debut as exciting as Sunday evenings open mike competition at the Chief Dusty Bull bar and nightclub on West 23rd street in downtown Waterloo. 

An unknown couple dressed in full cowboy regalia thrilled the crowd with their cover rendition of “Pick me up on your way down”. Backed by local hero “Slide Stone” on pedal steel guitar, Billy Frito on drums, and local favorite Bobby “Big Boot” Bruce on bass, the unknown couple not only belted out the current hit tune but followed with an original song entitled, 

“It’s so true, that I’m so Blue”. 

This reporter was granted an exclusive interview with the unknown couple following their set. Sitting backstage the young man who identified himself as “The Blue Bopper” and his young girl singer going only by the single name “Dawn”, told this reporter that they had invented a new crossover music combining the best elements of old time country story 
telling with a sort of super electric grunge rock popular in the 
Northwest part of the country. 

The narrow backstage corridor was filled with the acrid sickening sweet smell of marijuana. “Blue and Dawn” were never seen without large smoldering “fatties” rolled with Bible paper. They claimed that the combination of today’s super pot with the blue/green moss called “Blue” was responsible for their unique energy and creativity. This reporter believes that the entire crowd may have been influenced by the smoke and the record number of long necks served last Sunday evening. 

 The hit couple refused to disclose either where they came from nor how long they might be staying in this peaceful Midwest metropolis so favored nowadays by the young college crowd from UI and locals who fancy themselves “crystal cowboys” or “future fat farmers of America”. They claimed, mysteriously, to be fugitives on their way to what they would only describe as “the Border States and beyond”. 

As luck would have it, a record promoter from Memphis was in the audience, heard the performance, and attempted to contact the couple following this interview but they were nowhere to be found. “They just walked out on a $25,000 advance”, declared producer “Curly” Grits. A pair of well dressed and clean cut men who stood out from the rowdy crowd also failed to locate the pair. This reporter later learned that the men were from an Inter-Agency Task Force established by the DEA and 
FBI to further the war on marijuana and its cousin, the increasingly popular psychedelic drug known as “Blue”. 

Apparently, the couple radically altered their appearance since they were last spotted in Coos Bay, Oregon. “Blue” (real name Richard Stickit) was sporting a long beard braided into dreadlocks. Dawn had bright pink fluorescent hair and a new mole on her right chin. They were seen driving a jet black late model Chevrolet Suburban now reported missing from a downtown Des Moines Federal Building parking lot. 

Numerous patrons were questioned by local authorities and Federal Officers who shut down the festivities. None were detained but six customers were transported by ambulance complaining of a “floating” feeling, frightful hallucinations, and a propensity to walk backwards. It is suspected that the evening’s star performers may have deliberately or inadvertently gotten a number of the crowd high by blowing large Blue smoke rings into the audience to a syncopated beat, a practice first seen in underground Portland after hours clubs. 

A background check revealed that Federal authorities have been seeking the pair for a number of weeks. The pair has left a trail from Florida to California to Oregon, and now to Iowa. The trail is littered with dissolute stories of rampant marijuana abuse and now hints of some new adulterant gaining in popularity in the underground college scene and 
after hour joints. 

Copyright: Waterloo Democrat, E-mail ALipshitz@loo.com