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      Terror Alert Teens #2

Interview with a Pot Head- Inside the Walls of the Lillian Carter Center 
for the Treatment of Marijuana- Rancho Mirage, California

  October 14, 2002

Exclusive to the Desert Post Weekly a Gannett publication

By contributing Editor Harold Bull of the Coalition for a Drug Free America

The desert landscape looks harsh except for the golf courses and desert play homes of the rich that remind this writer so much of a Bel-Air with sand. On the outskirts of town in a red rock canyon lays the well manicured grounds of an old sanitarium refurbished with the latest in lush grounds and high cyclone security fences dotted periodically with tall watch towers.

This is no picnic ground for the residents held inside. The accommodations are cushy but every resident knows they can’t leave and, more importantly, they can’t smoke pot. Named by former President Jimmy Carter for his late mother, Lillian (sober from pot five years when she passed away from pot related multi-organ failure), the Lillian Carter Center is designed to help pot addicts get a new life. It is here within these walls that this writer had an opportunity to interview Ms. Dawn Biloxi recently ordered to the center following a pot related crime spree.

Ms. Biloxi continues to deny she has a problem with what she calls “the herb”. The Staff are always reminding Dawn that denial is not just a river in Egypt. She doesn’t seem to comprehend, staring vacantly at the pastel walls, compulsively pulling her long blond locks into “dreads”. She claims to not be saddened by the death of her former boyfriend Milo Stickit, who died recently in a hail of police gunfire and has taken to writing both his brother Wayne and his cousin Richard.

“Wayne and Dick are nice boys”, whispers Dawn to no one in particular. “It wasn’t marijuana that killed Milo and it won’t kill me”, says Dawn. “Have you got a smoke, mister? A brownie?” “Where is Milo anyway?”

Dawn Biloxi does reveal that her mother, an Irish Traveler from Racine, Wisconsin, did have an affair with California Governor Gray Davis some eighteen years ago when Davis was still just a member of the State Assembly from Merced, California. She claims that the match (denied by Davis) makes her a true “love child”. All efforts to reach Dawn’s mother, Erin Jameson, have come to naught. She was last known working as a roofing salesperson in Toledo where a bench warrant awaits her. Meanwhile, the Governor claims the whole affair is nothing more than pre-election campaign propaganda put out by his challenger Bill Simon. Davis claims he’s more than ready for a DNA paternity test just as soon as his hectic campaigning days are over. All Dawn will say (while sucking her thumb petulantly) is that she misses her “big daddy”.

Dawn drifts in and out of reality. One minute she is attentive to a broken nail or the chirp of a bird sitting up on the razor wire while
the next minute she claims she’s the reincarnation of South American music star Carmen Miranda and begins stuffing items from the cafeteria salad bar into her hair.  Dawn’s doctors report that she suffers from the usual psychosis so common today with kids using the new super pot from Norway (see related article nine Norwegians die from hash overdose in last week’s edition).

When confronted by this reporter about her being crazy her only reply was that going crazy was, indeed, traumatic, but being crazy was more than wonderful. “After all”, Dawn opined, “normal people have killed some 100 million other normal people in the last century”. “Now that’s what I call lame”. “If marijuana can keep me crazy, then I’m all for it”, shouts Dawn.

Addiction specialists say that Dawn already suffers from memory loss, brain damage, lung disease, and a crippling case of athlete’s foot brought on from her one week use of marijuana. They expect that if she continues her pot habit she’s also likely to lose at least two cup sizes while gaining girth in her pinkies and developing severe nail fungus from her impaired immune system.

Dawn doesn’t believe any of this. As John Lennon would say, “she just sucks her thumb in wonder, at the banks of her own lagoon”. It is
expected that Dawn’s treatment will last at least two years due to the permanent damage she suffered during her brief spree with marijuana.

Harold Bull can be reached at: Hbull@hypenet.com

Mr. Bull holds a bachelors degree from Calvary Bible College in Altoona, Pennsylvania. He has been director of the Coalition for a Drug Free America since stepping down as union representative for the State of Florida Correctional Officers. Mr. Bull served the prison industry for ten years. Prior to his career in criminal justice, Mr. Bull was a star performer with Avon Cosmetics.

News Alert! Action Bulletin from the Family Research Council (“Where the Right is Really Right”) Article #3 of Terror Alert